Humiliation

It's the only word to describe the vicious cruelty that is the only conceivable motivation behind Wii Fit. My girlfriend picked up a copy as a joint Easter present on one of its infrequent appearances in UK stores and we ripped into the box, myself eager to get the closest to a ski slope I've been in several years through the balance games.

However, to get to these games the player must run the gauntlet of registration for, like Brain Training, Wii fit isn't a game so much as a way of life. You can't just jump onto the slopes, or into a hula-hoop (or indeed jump at all - the game will fail you from whatever activity you're embarked on if feet leave balance board) - the Wii will first measure you and, likely, find you wanting. Let me be clear, I have no illusions about my physical condition, but to see my Mii steadily inflate as the game racked up my weight was perhaps my most depressing gaming moment to date. The poor fellow was left waddling around the screen as the wretched software imparted the wisdom that I might want to consider eating less (I had also been asked, after failing a balance exercise, whether I often fell over while walking).

When you get past the hateful initiation, some of the mini-games (this is Wii software after all) are quite fun - the skiing especially is reasonably well done. The 'real' exercise stuff is pretty useless. There's a heavy emphasis on yoga and the like and its difficult to see the benefit in much of the rest of the stuff. Oddly the thing which comes closest to exertion doesn't even involve the balance board - by putting a wii-mote in your pocket and running on the spot the Wii measures your pace and tracks it onto a virtual jogging course. It's surprisingly enjoyable.

Curious to see whether there's life for the board beyond Wii Fit (unlike the under-used Mario Kart wheels and light gun apparatus) or whether it's existence will be primarily to cause me misery and self-loathing.